tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post56708799343048270..comments2023-10-25T03:35:52.205-04:00Comments on Just A Thought: Can/Should a Man Teach Women's Self-Defense Classes?Michelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04317845403611730397noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-47228308137275303072010-03-12T10:51:23.171-05:002010-03-12T10:51:23.171-05:00Hi Narda,
I’m glad you realize playing nice with ...Hi Narda,<br /><br />I’m glad you realize playing nice with your attacker isn’t going to get you anywhere and being overly nice in training is bad preparation if you ever need to use this stuff for real. Training for self-defense is difficult, it’s exhausting and it hurts but that’s just how it is, if it were the other way around the instructor probably doesn’t know what he or she’s doing or they just don’t give a damn. Train hard, fight easy… There’s still much truth in that saying.<br /><br />I noticed the same problem during classes: whenever two women practice together they tend to go easy on each other, they don’t offer realistic attacks and they hold back on their counterattack out of fear of hurting their partner. It all depends on your reason(s) for training of course but if you’re at all serious about self-defense this won’t do and in reality you’ll get hit on the nose or worse. Whenever I see this I have the tendency to break them up and pick one to train with: I show her that if she doesn’t attack properly there’s no need for me to defend and if she’s not committed in her counters I won’t go down, period. I could fake it of course but that won’t teach her anything and even lull her into a false sense of security. Unfortunately this attitude and the fact I’m pretty intense myself when training has brought me a reputation of being somewhat of a hardass and quite a lot of people in our dojo (bar the more experienced ones) seem quite intimidated by me even though I’m not violent and am extra careful not to injure anyone. In a way it’s not too bad: I remember being quite intimidate by the higher belts when I was just a beginner and students need a role-model (sensei’s obviously much better than me but his skill is so advanced mine actually seems attainable) and someone they can look up to. If the higher levels of our art wouldn’t look and feel dangerous and efficient then what reason would there be to study harder and gain rank? <br /><br />If I’d teach these kind of classes I’ll be courteous and fair towards but the participants but I wouldn’t go easy on them either. I hope there will be someone like you there who sees the virtues of this approach and who can help motivate the others. Sorry you had to learn this the hard way though.<br /><br />Zara<br /><br />PS: in any case there should always be a man presented in these classes, even if the instructor is a woman (the gender isn’t very relevant as long as the person is capable and experienced), to play the attacker and to give a sense of real resistance and how well the techniques would work in reality.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-39483863157301440522010-03-12T09:11:19.777-05:002010-03-12T09:11:19.777-05:00Q: 'Should a man teach the class?'
A: No n...Q: 'Should a man teach the class?'<br />A: No necessarily. The bigger and the scarier, the better. Could be male, could be female. The point is - crossing hands with someone that will challenge us. Even shock us.<br /><br />SD courses as an awareness exercise in taking precaution, and sharing information is a good thing. But being a female, I can tell you from experience, that we all 'play too nice'. A conspiracy of sorts, we tentatively cross hands with each other in these workshops, utter little apologies to each other if we get even a little rough...and it undermines the value of the course. <br /><br />It's good as a beginning, but one needs to cross hands with someone that will make us use the techniques. I played that role this past week, encouraging other women in a R.A.D. class to push a little. 'Yes... that hurts... GOOD!' :) But unless a woman comes to the course having already experienced violence, it's still all 'academic' without the 'ah ha' moment. Of entering that nexus, that sphere where fear and mass and spirit come into play.Nardahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16536913063519327736noreply@blogger.com