tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post6317141101626934569..comments2023-10-25T03:35:52.205-04:00Comments on Just A Thought: Review: The Gift of Fear by Gavin De BeckerMichelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04317845403611730397noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-47115117156122446712009-01-04T17:56:00.000-05:002009-01-04T17:56:00.000-05:00John Lyons - Thanks for visiting my blog and for t...John Lyons - Thanks for visiting my blog and for the book suggestion. I will add it to my reading list.Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317845403611730397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-81921009028635994632009-01-02T20:11:00.000-05:002009-01-02T20:11:00.000-05:00If you get a chance read Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink...If you get a chance read Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink". He discusses fear and how it relates to decisions we make. <BR/><BR/>I've added you to my blogs list. This is a really nice forum. Great writing and great comments. Thanks for the reply.<BR/><BR/>www.universalgoju.comJohn Lyons-Sensei Universal Goju Karate Schoolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00756759782137823290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-23594817084430055042009-01-01T15:53:00.000-05:002009-01-01T15:53:00.000-05:00John: Gavin de Becker devotes several pages to TRO...John: Gavin de Becker devotes several pages to TRO's and their effectiveness. He details when they seem to be effective and when they are not. Unfortunately, the TRO may give the person a false sense of safety. You are right that "in the end it's just a piece of paper".<BR/><BR/>PB: Ever since I read the book, V and J have been on my mind. There is a statistic in the book that states that out of all the women who are killed by their husband...75% are committed after the woman has left.<BR/><BR/>Steve: She was brave to take action. I agree that the system failed her. Her husband hired a prominent criminal defense attorney to plead his custody/visitation case. The PFA was overturned and visitation was granted.<BR/><BR/>Dragonfly: Thank you for your comments. A scholarship to the dojo is a great idea.<BR/><BR/>My husband organized three tournaments in their honor. Scholarships were given to a local high school in their name. The martial arts community was extremely supportive.Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317845403611730397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-80967003063887207642009-01-01T12:31:00.000-05:002009-01-01T12:31:00.000-05:00Thank you for the book reco. I am a great believer...Thank you for the book reco. I am a great believer in following your intuition. A terrible story about those two poor innocent children. There is nothing that can undo the horrible tradegy that has been done but it occurs to me when you say that it "haunts the dojo to this day" that perhaps doing something positive might help clear out some of that negativity and horror that the father left behind. <BR/><BR/>I hope you do not mind if I make the suggestion that the school could offer annual scholarships to the dojo in these children's name to so that some other kids who might not otherwise be able to afford lessons in the martial arts might get the opportunity to do so. The current students could even contribute towards intuition if they wished to help defray the cost. Think of how meaningful it would be to this poor mother if she knew something her children loved to do was being carried on in their honor. If this is not acceptable at your school, doing a fundraiser and donating the proceeds to an appropriate charity also might be something that you would find helped to replace some of those sad feelings with some more positive ones knowing you helped other kids like J and V. <BR/><BR/>I do believe that even in the worst of tragedies, we can find some good, some growth, something positive even if we ourselves must plant those seeds to make it happen. <BR/><BR/>Happy New Year to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-30173044304808621212009-01-01T12:19:00.000-05:002009-01-01T12:19:00.000-05:00Wow, what a heart-wrenching story. But I think th...Wow, what a heart-wrenching story. But I think the restraining order could have been all this woman had. It may have been worse to continue to allow what was going on before it. She took action. I wouldn't fault anyone for that. I would fault the government system that failed her and allowed the husband to have unfettered access to the kids.Stevehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16909366512264989613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-69370359039575916962009-01-01T00:21:00.000-05:002009-01-01T00:21:00.000-05:00When people ask why abused women don't leave, I wa...When people ask why abused women don't leave, I want to ask them why they never read the papers. It's exactly when they leave that they or their children are most likely to be killed.<BR/><BR/>What a horrible tragedy. I can't imagine life without my two boys.Perpetual Beginnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09625596315528064536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657543360198531381.post-33846714044474589042008-12-31T12:16:00.000-05:002008-12-31T12:16:00.000-05:00Those restraining orders sometimes end up to be a ...Those restraining orders sometimes end up to be a death knell, usually just for the spouse or partner. What a tragic ending. And what tangible protection do these court orders really provide? In the end it's just a piece of paper.John Vesiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04434740196022601040noreply@blogger.com