10kyu x 4 = ?

I handed my 12 year old daughter a crisp new gi and white belt.  If my calculations are correct, this will be her fourth uniform.  The gi have ranged in size from 00 - 2.  She has progressed through 8th kyu twice and almost made it to yellow belt.

We have been down this path before.  

Perhaps she needs a little non-parental encouragement...

If you were given the task of encouraging a potential student to learn karate, what would you say?

“He Didn’t Look Creepy…”

My daughter has detailed instructions for after school. The bus drops her off approximately 25 yards from our house.

Get off the bus.
Go in the house.
Lock the door.
Call me.

There are only a few random occasions when she has to go home to an empty house. Yesterday was one of those times. About an hour after my daughter arrived home, she called me at work.

Daughter: “A guy has two flat tires and he wants to know if he can leave his truck in our parking lot until he can get a new tire.”

Me: “What?!!!” Where are you? Where is the truck? Did you answer the door?”

In the background, I hear the man talking about his truck, the tire and the flat spare.

Me: “Go back inside the house.”

When I got home from work, I spoke to my daughter about the man with the flat tire. She assured me that she cautiously looked out the window before opening the door. The man pointed at his truck and the flat tire. He asked for permission to leave the truck until he was able to repair the tire. She called me to obtain permission. My daughter concluded her side of the story with…”He didn’t look creepy.”

We spent the next ten minutes discussing her faulty logic.

You cannot tell if a person is dangerous simply by the way they look.

A person does not have to look “creepy” to be “creepy”.

Sports Injury - Concussion

My daughter is playing softball this season.   As I turned the corner to arrive at the field, I saw my daughter walking with a coach.  She was holding an instant ice pack on her throat.  They saw me and walked over to the car.   The coach explained that a softball bounced off her glove and into her neck.   My daughter told me her neck hurt, it was hard to swallow and difficult to talk.  The impact of the softball made it difficult for her to breath for 30 seconds.

We packed up her gear and drove away.  Instead of heading home, I drove in the direction of her doctor's office.  I called the doctor and a nurse answered.  She told us to come to the office right away.  The doctor checked her neck and throat.  Her neck did not appear swollen.  My daughter complained of a headache.  The doctor tested her neurological symptoms and determined she had a concussion.  Her head aches, eyes hurt and noise/light sensitivity. The doctor made arrangements for an X-ray of her vertebrae at the hospital as a precaution. 

I sat in the office trying to stay calm.  I was doing fine until I heard about the X-ray for possible fractures to the spine.  The doctor handed me the referral and we were on our way to the hospital.  Two hours later, we left the hospital knowing the X-ray was negative for fractures.  My daughter has a follow-up appointment this week.  She is restricted from physical activity (sports and gym) until cleared by the doctor.

During the exam, the doctor discussed children athletes and injuries.  His first question before he examined my daughter..."Did you continue playing after the injury?".    The doctor explained that he sees many patients with sports injurys.  The kids get hit and keep playing despite a headache or other symptoms.  The kids who keep playing have a longer recovery time from a concussion than those who stop playing.

From the Mayo Clinic:

No one should return to play or vigorous activity while signs or symptoms of a concussion are present. Experts recommend that an athlete with a suspected concussion not return to play until he or she has been medically evaluated. Experts also recommend that child and adolescent athletes with a concussion not return to play on the same day as the injury.

A Rant to Parents

I don't like to rant on this blog. But every once in a while....

Parents...please watch your children.

Yesterday, I had jury duty in town.  I reported to the courthouse at 8:00 a.m.   We waited 2 hours before we were called to the courtroom.  The jury selection was for a civil case to award damages.  The case involved a dog.  I may have mentioned in previous post that I am afraid of dogs.  When I was young, I was chased by a large German Shepherd at a playground.  My sister was with me and we ran up a sliding board and stood on the top platform.  The owner of the dog saw the whole thing but did not call off his dog.  After a few minutes, the dog ran back to his owner.  I logically know this situation was about more about the dog owner than the dog.  This event caused me to be afraid of dogs.  I was not picked for the jury.

I was dismissed from jury duty at lunch and headed to work.  I was driving out of the city one traffic light at a time.  I approached the city limits.  There was a single lane of traffic in each direction.  There was parking permitted on each side of the street.  To the left was a large cemetery and on the right a row of houses.   There was a man parking his car on the left across from the houses.  A small toddler in a bright pink outfit was on the sidewalk to the right.  I am driving slow and watching. The toddler ran out in the middle of the street toward the man.  She had no concept of the danger.  I hit my brakes and stopped a cars length from the toddler.  The man came across the street and scooped up the child.  The man gave me a dirty look.

Who was watching this child?  She was standing alone on the sidewalk next to a busy street.

When my daughter was little, I made sure she held my hand.  I tried to be diligent about parking lots and streets.  There are no sidewalks in my neighborhood.  The kids play in the street.   There are at least two portable basketball nets sitting on the edge of the street between parked cars.  The kids like to wait until a car drives up the street.  They shoot baskets over the moving car from across the street.  The same unsupervised group of kids used to ride their Big Wheel on the street.

So parents...please watch your children in parking lots and near streets.  This advice comes from a person who was run over by a car at 2 years old.  We were standing in front of an ice cream shop.  I pulled away from my group and darted off the curb.  My Mom told me there were tire tracks on my clothing.  The doctor thought my arm was crushed.  It healed completely. 

I was very lucky.

Parents: Should They Stay or Should They Go?

When parents/guardians bring their children to their first karate class, they sit on the sidelines and watch the session.  Our dojo is open so the parents can see and hear what is happening in class. The parents talk to the instructors and ask questions about the class, style, dojo and policies.  One question often asked:

Do I have to stay during class?

When I taught at the dance studio, which was located in a mall, most of the parents dropped off their kids and went shopping.  The  teaching space was behind closed doors with a glass observation window.  It was the worst space I ever taught karate.  The owner of the studio liked to put me in the "gym" room complete with purple walls and a trampoline.   I taught very young kids (3-6) a pre-karate program.  We worked on balance and co-ordination.  I liked to keep my door open so the parents could hear what I was teaching their children.  The owner wanted the door closed at all times.   So...I invited the parents in the room when I felt they should hear what I was teaching.

I took my daughter (who was 5 at the time) for dance lessons at the same studio.  I would stay and watch the classes.   A few of the karate parents of the youngest karate group would stay all the time.  (Thank you!) One mom dropped her 3 year old son off and left each class.  He always needed to go to the bathroom during class.  The studio policy was that if the parent was not in the waiting room...the entire class had to escort the child and wait outside the bathroom.  These classes were only a half hour long and we spent 10 minutes each session in the lobby outside the bathroom....waiting. 

In the 16 years since our dojo has opened, we had a wide range of parents.

Sit and wait. (largest group of parents in our dojo)
Sit and wait but eventually join class.  :)
Sit with friend - talk and wait.
Sit and wait - work on computer.
Sit and wait for a portion of class - take a short walk outside.
Drop off
Drop off and go fishing at the lake.

So...what is my answer to the question...Do we have to stay?

It is really up to the parent/guardian and the child.  If I felt strongly that a parent should stay, for whatever reason, I would tell the parent individually.

As an instructor my preference is for the parents of young children (5-8) to stay.  I think it is important for the parents to hear what their children are learning.  They learn appropriate age level self-defense.  I think it is also important the parents know we tell the children that karate practice is to be done in the dojo with an instructor for safety reasons.  There is no practicing on parents, friends, brothers/sisters or pets.

One other consideration for our dojo is the proximity of the local Fire Company.  The Fire Company social hall is only 100 yards down the street.   A few parents have asked if it was ok if they hang out at the Fire Company when their children are in class.  They usually add this tidbit of information after I tell them staying is up to the parent.   I know they serve food at the social hall but when most people are hanging out...they hang out at the bar.

What do you think...should parents stay or should they go?

Benefits of Being a Martial Arts Practitioner While Raising a Teenage Daughter

Ok...my daughter is not a teenager yet.  She thinks she is a teenager despite the fact she only turns twelve next week.   Outings at the mall with friends and talking about boys are on the top of her priority list. 

Just for fun.

Benefits of  Being a Martial Arts Practitioner While Raising a Teenage Daughter

1.  All prospective dates will enter the house through the dojo while class is in progress.
2.  If no class is in progress, it would be a great time to clean the sword collection.
3.  Introduce prospective boyfriends to ALL our karate friends. 
4.  Suggest the location of the first date be a self-defense class.
5.  Make sure to volunteer him as the Uke.

Suggestions are welcome!  :)

Black Holes

The weekend before Thanksgiving, I took my daughter to the Franklin Institute to see the Cleopatra exhibit. Our ticket included the Franklin Institute, the University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archeology and Anthropology and a planetarium show. The planetarium show my daughter wanted to see was about Black Holes.

My daughter has expressed interest in becoming a chef, a designer and a restaurant owner. She has notebooks full of sketches and a collection of cookbooks. She recently informed me that she wants to be an astrophysicist. Her college of choice is MIT.

Did I mention she is only eleven?

We only had a few minutes to race across the museum in order to see the planetarium show. She picked the perfect seat and sat down. Once the show started, she raised her fist in a manner reminiscent of a rock concert rather than a program about black holes. During the show, my daughter whispered commentary throughout the program. I thought the show was interesting but my daughter expressed disappointment in the lack of detail.

One particular term caught my attention. The event horizon is the boundary of the black hole. "Nothing inside the event horizon can ever cross the boundary and escape beyond it, including light. Thus, nothing that enters a black hole can get out or can be observed from outside the event horizon." The planetarium show illustrated this by depicting kayakers trying to paddle upstream to avoid an impending waterfall. There comes a time when there is no way out.

The term event horizon aptly describes this busy season at work. There have been so many problems...late product, manufacturing delays, reduced staffing, errors and discourteous customers. When I told one customer his shipment would be sent the next business day he yelled..."Do you know who I am?"

Tomorrow, we anticipate another product shortage. It is going to be a long day.

Thank you for bearing with my lack of posting and commenting. I walked into dojo tonight and one black belt asked "Do we know you?"

Hopefully, I will be recognizable soon! :)

Three Right Knees

My husband had right knee surgery in 2005 to repair his lateral meniscus.

I had right knee surgery in 2007 to repair a torn ACL.

My daughter injured her right knee last week at soccer practice. It was an accidental contact injury. Two people charging for the ball at the same time. Her foot planted and the impact was on the outside of her knee. She stood up and continued practicing. She even played a soccer game this weekend. As I watched the game, I noticed that she would rub her knee after she kicked the ball.

I scheduled an appointment with the pediatrician today. The doctor examined her knee and there may be soft tissue damage. The doctor mentioned the MCL and meniscus. The doctor said there was no tear but recommended that she see an orthopedic specialist.

I hope her knee is ok....

Youth Soccer – “Show No Mercy!”

My daughter plays youth soccer on a T3 Under 12 team. I am glad she is part of a team and I enjoy watching her play. I am the quiet parent sitting on the sidelines. I usually sit alone near the center of the field. I watch the game and listen to the commotion on the sidelines. There are parents who cheer, complain, criticize, yell, grumble, applaud and moan.

Game 1:

I found an open spot on the sidelines to set my chair. Within minutes, parents of the opposing team filled in the space next to me. Sitting next to me was an exuberant, chatty father. Through the course of the game, I learned a lot about him. He told me where he was from, why he moved, how he loved living in a rural area and about his chickens. He told me about the opposing teams practice schedule, their drills and the coach. The coach was a local celebrity and soccer professional. The coach retired from competitive soccer and is teaching a girls team for fun.

The chatty father pointed out his daughter and wanted to know which one was mine. He gestured to the end of the field and said, "The Amazon playing defense is my daughter". Yep, he actually said Amazon. The chatty father apologized to me in advance because his daughter was probably going to knock some of our team down. Their coach was teaching some of the more talented players to knock opposing team members over without being called for it. The chatty dad got it half-right. His daughter stomped over my daughter and knocked her down. The referee called a penalty.


Game 2:

Once again, I found and open spot on the sidelines to set my chair. This week I was surrounded by parents and grandparents of our team. The moment the whistle blew the commentary began. The grandfather did not stop talking the entire one-hour game. “They need to run to the ball. Look at the other team, they are running to the ball. They need to kick the ball forward not backward. Look at the other teams goalie, she should have brought a lawn chair. They need to run. The coaches need to be harder on the girls. Kick the ball forward.” Repeat over and over again.

Our team was losing at least 8-0 with only a few minutes left in the game. The other team was excited and seemed to become increasingly aggressive. At one point, an 11-year-old girl on the opposing team shouted, “Show No Mercy!”. A moment later, our goalie was hit in the face with the ball and an opposing player knocked her down. The goalie had to leave the game with an ice pack.

What do you think of the “Show No Mercy!” comment? Do you have any youth soccer stories to share?

Tweens, Dances and Disposable Clothing

I was warned on more that one occasion. Parents of tweens and teenagers would give me a knowing look and say, “Just wait…you are going to have your hands full”. I did not realize it would start so soon….

School picture day was Monday and I offered to take my daughter shopping for a new dress. Normally she wears a uniform to school: plaid skirt, white blouse, navy knee socks, black shoes. On picture day, the students are allowed to wear regular clothes that fit appropriately. There is a long list of “No’s” such as No jeans, No short skirts, No sleeveless tops, etc.

We arrived at the mall an hour before closing. We planned our route and knew which stores we wanted to shop. At our last store, with only fifteen minutes to spare, my daughter found a top she liked. She came out of the dressing room and modeled her choice. I liked the top but made a grave error. I told her that the top would also be great for the first CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) dance.

My comment caused a dilemma and an immediate reaction. The following spilled out of my daughter’s mouth:

You ruined everything!
How could I possibly wear this top for picture day AND the first dance.
I cannot wear the same top twice.
Everyone would remember!
If I wear the new top to the dance, what am I going to wear for picture day?
What am I going to do?
None of the other kids wears the same outfit twice.

I waited for the monologue to finish. I told her that clothing is not disposable. The tween years have officially begun.

Any tips on surviving the tween/teen years?

Back To School - Ready or Not?

In two weeks, my daughter returns to school. I look at the calendar and cannot believe how quickly this summer went. She has been busy with camp, community theater and bible school. I am not ready for the summer to end. I look forward to the crisp fall weather but not the start of school.

When I was in school, I could not wait for the new school year to begin. I loved buying school supplies, picking out a new backpack and seeing my friends. As an adult, there is still some joy when buying a brand new box of Crayola crayons.

As a parent of a 6th grade student, I am dreading the new year. Sixth grade means school dances, lockers and science fair projects. This is the year that the boys and girls start "going together" - whatever that means. She is too old for the after school program but too young to be on her own.

I am not ready...but I think she is.

I guess that is all that matters.

Are you ready? Or not?

Home Alone - At What Age?

At a recent family gathering, my sister-in-law recounted a story about the first time she left her son home alone. My adult nephew was 10 or 11 years old at the time. My sister-in-law needed to run a quick errand that would take less than an hour. She went through "the rules" with my nephew and left the house. She returned home to find a police car parked in front of her house. I can only imagine the worry she felt at that moment. My nephew heard a noise and thought there was an intruder. He called 911. This happened only a few minutes after my sister-in-law left the building.

I started wondering about my own daughter. She is 11 years old and we do not leave her home alone. At what age can a child be left home alone? Is this up to the parents discretion or is there a legal age. From latchkeykids.com:

The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone.

However, consider a child's age and maturity level. For example, if a child is extremely impulsive, it might be best to wait until he or she is older than 12.

There appear to be very few states with specific regulations about the age of a child left at home alone. However, since the number of latchkey kids is growing significantly due to 2 income parents and single parents and guardians, there is a growing movement within state agencies to set guidelines.

In Illinois, the minimum age requirement for a child to be left home alone is fourteen. In Maryland and South Carolina, the minimum age is eight. There is no minimum age limit in the state of Pennsylvania. Click here to see the chart by state.

I was in high school (13 yrs) before my parents left me home alone. My sister and I would walk home together from the bus stop. We would be home a few hours before our parents came home from work. My parents were overprotective. I was only allowed to ride my bike on the sidewalk in front of the house. My Dad logged countless hours sitting on the park bench at the playground. I was not allowed to see R-Rated movies or go to Under 21 nights at the local dance clubs. My husband lived in a neighborhood where it was easy to bike to school, to the pool or to friends. He would leave early in the day on his bicycle and return by dark. He was the youngest of four brothers and had more freedom at an earlier age.

Now that I have my own daughter...I have become my parents. I still walk her to the bus stop. I wait at soccer practice.

I am not ready to leave her home alone.

What do you think? At what age would you leave your child home alone? And for how long? Was it different when you were young?

Shadow's Story

It was my daughter’s 11th birthday. Family and friends were arriving in less than an hour to celebrate with cake and ice cream. The new kitten, a birthday present, was curled up on the bed. My husband Tom checked on the kitten and discovered Shadow was barely breathing. The kitten was at the vet the previous day for the mandatory checkup required by the Animal Rescue League. After a quick call to the vet, Tom rushed to the animal hospital with the kitten. Tom returned in time for the party but the kitten remained with the vet.

The kitten was very sick. The vet offered Tom a choice…treat the kitten and hope he gets better or euthanize the kitten. It was my daughter’s birthday. Tom told the vet to start treatment. On Friday night, the kitten had a 30% survival rate. We received an update on Saturday morning. The kitten was eating and appeared to be responding to the medication. The kitten’s survival rate jumped to 50%.

The vet informed us the kitten had to be sick at the time of adoption. I called the Animal Rescue League and told them about our situation including the financial output needed to help the kitten get well. The first thing the staff member at the ARL asked was “Did you buy pet insurance?” Since the first visit at the vet was included in the adoption fee, we did not think there was any rush to buy insurance. The staff member told us we could no longer buy pet insurance because the kitten had a pre-existing condition. To be honest…I doubt that we would have purchased the pet insurance anyway.

A few hours later, the Director of the ARL called with a solution. Euthanize the kitten and pick out a new one at no charge. Cold. This was not a shirt with a torn seam or an electronic game that malfunctioned. A week ago, when the ARL were encouraging an adoption, they wanted my daughter to love and care for an animal and make it part of our family. Now they wanted to dispose of the kitten and exchange it for a new one. According to their website, the organization claims to be the “County’s Largest Shelter in Size and Heart”. I don’t think so. My daughter was attached to this kitten. Shadow was her birthday kitten.

By Sunday morning, the kitten was pouncing around again. Shadow is coming home tonight.

Outvoted

The results.....

My daughter wanted an American Girl doll or a kitten. Since we already have a cat, I voted for the American Girl doll.

Why Sometimes It Is Easy to Forget She Is a Kid....

When my daughter approached the age of two...I was concerned. She did not talk much. She was able to communicate by pointing or by uttering a few words. I remember calling my sister-in-law and expressing my concern. Shouldn't my daughter be talking more? There were not many kids in my extended family. The few nieces and nephews I did have were older and I was not around them much when they were little. I researched developmental milestones. I was told not to worry. She would talk when she was ready. My daughter was almost two and it was like a switch turned on. She began to talk using complete ideas.

At three years old, my daughter was having foot pain (she has flat feet). We were referred to a specialist. Within five minutes of meeting my daughter, the orthopedic specialist stopped discussing her feet. He was struck by her ability to communicated and suggested I encourage her learning ability. In Kindergarten, one mother would periodically ask me...Has she always talked like that? My daughter's ability to communicate has been noticed by doctors, school nurses, dental assistants, coaches, etc.

To me...it is how she always spoke. She talks from the moment she wakes up until she falls asleep. It is constant. I am surprised she does not get in trouble at school for talking. There have been times I decreed the car as a "no talk zone" so I could focus on my driving not a conversation. She can be engaging and discusses many subjects.

Despite her ability to communicate, my daughter has trouble pronouncing some consonant combinations such as 'sh' and 'th'. My husband wanted to know if she need speech therapy to improve those sounds. She was tested at school by a speech therapist. The test included pronunciation, syntax and language. Many children who have speech problems also have difficulty with language and vocabulary. If they cannot say the word...the often do not understand it. She has some mispronunciations but her speech is readily understandable. She will need to be re-evaluated or we can choose a private speech therapist to correct the sounds.

In the language/vocabulary section, my ten year old daughter tested similar to an eighteen year old at 96%. It is no wonder why it is sometimes easy to forget that you are talking to a ten year old kid.

If her use of language stands out to adults...it makes me wonder what she sounds like to other kids. Maybe the teacher's comment "They'll Catch Up" makes more sense now.

Braver Than I Am

As a child, I may have been described as painfully shy. I was quiet and did not like to be the center of attention. I would no longer consider myself shy but I am a long way from being an extrovert.

....and then there is my daughter. She is a classic extrovert. She engages people in conversation and loves to be the center of attention.

Ocean City, 2009

We approached the ramp to the boardwalk and heard the music. My daughter looked at me and asked if we could find out what is going on. Ocean City celebrated the end of Summer weekend with a block party. About a hundred people circled a small stage where a DJ was leading karaoke. My daughter looked at me in earnest and asked if she could sign up. She has never sang karaoke before so I did not know what to expect. However, she knew exactly what song she wanted to sing.

We waited for her name to be called. We heard some Elvis, Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson songs. Most of the people singing were adults or teenagers. They called her name and she stepped up to the microphone. The DJ kept calling her name and did not realize a ten year old girl was standing there ready to sing. The DJ finally saw her and told the audience she was singing a crowd favorite. She chose the 80's song "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey.

She sang her heart out. When the song ended she put the microphone back on the stand and started walking away. The crowd loved her and gave her a huge applause. The DJ called her name and told her that she "Rocked the House". She exited the stage and at least twenty people gave her a high-5.

She is braver than I am.

Mothers and Daughters – How Long? – Not Long

My daughter is ten. We had The Talk and she has read The Book.

Last night, the local hospital offered a community program for mothers and daughters. Even though we had The Talk, I thought it would be a good idea for her to hear it again from a doctor. The program was held in a hotel banquet room and the topic was “All Grown Up”. An OB/GYN spoke to the girls aged 9-12 about the changes they could expect over the next few years. The Doctor did a great job explaining, describing and answering questions.

There was a group of five girls from my daughter’s class. They sat in the front row and the speaker called them the giggling girls. The moms sat behind the girls in the second row. I know my daughter very well and knew that her hand would be the first one raised in the question and answer session. It was and she offered more of a commentary than a question. My daughter is growing up.

On the way home from the session it struck me…How long?

How long will it be before she walks ten feet in front of me at the mall?

How long before it is not “cool” to spend time with her family?

How long before her friends become the most important part of her world?

How long before she thinks her parents are “clueless”?

When will the dolls, stuffed animals and Littlest Pet Shop be replaced by cell phones, MySpace and fashion magazines?

I commiserated with my brother who has two adult children. He said that it is…Not Long…and wished me good luck. He told me not to worry because children eventually drift back. In his case, it occurred when his children were out of high school.

I am feeling a little sad….

Not Long

What Was I Thinking?

Silly me....I actually thought that I would have more time once my daughter went back to school.

I was wrong.

There has been something going on every night since school started. Not to mention the change in my morning routine and the problems with the school bus. My daughter was scheduled to take public school transportation to school each day. The first week of school, the bus arrived twenty minutes late each morning. Being late for school was not acceptable.

I made several phones calls to the transportation office. In the end, we were offered an alternative bus stop two miles down the road on the edge of a busy highway. The transportation director told me that it was our stop that was causing the delay. She made it clear that it was not our fault and it was the district's responsibility to get the kids to school on time. Apparently, the bus was late because it had to wait to make the left turn on to the highway. It is true...the left turn is difficult especially during the A.M. commute.

I decided to drive my daughter to school every day. I figured if I had to drive two miles I might as well drive the whole ten miles.

I forgot how much homework my daughter gets each night. If she would sit down and do her homework, it would only take about forty-five minutes. Instead it takes two hours because she procrastinates. The school has no workbooks for the students because the PA Budget has not been passed. Most of her work is on handouts or in copybooks. At the parent-teacher meeting, they anticipate receiving workbooks in January.

I am adjusting.

Slowly.

Back To School Eve

Tomorrow is the first day of school. On Saturday, the school published the class assignments on the web page. My daughter and I opened the link to find good news and bad news. The good news is that she got the teacher she wanted. The teacher is new to the school but she happens to be a childhood friend of mine. The teacher and I went to school together for twelve years. The bad news is that none of her friends are in her class.

Insert sobbing here......

My daughter was inconsolable for a good thirty minutes. She wanted to go to another school and even begged to be home schooled. She calmed down when she realized she would have two classes with her friends in addition to lunch and recess.

The weekend was busy with last minute school shopping and preparation. I am hoping she will have a great year.

Should They Have Been Allowed to Quit Karate?

I was reading the newspaper and an advertisement caught my eye. A floor covering company was announcing their new Interior Designer. A photo of the designer was included in the advertisement along with her name and company contact information. I did not recognize her from the picture (it has been fifteen years!) but I did remember her name. I immediately thought….

“I know her. She was in my karate class when I was a kyu rank. She had a sister and they both took karate. They hated karate.”

The sisters were young teenagers when they started karate. Their father signed a one-year contract for karate classes. The sisters started out mildly interested in learning karate. It did not take long before they hated karate classes. The sisters told me how they wanted to quit but their father forced them to attend class. Their father was paying for a year of karate and they were going to take a year of karate.

They would complain to my husband and I all the time. They knew the exact day their contract expired. They attended class but they were not “in” class. The sisters would walk through the material but their minds were on other things. I am not sure what they learned during that year. The class instructors knew they were just putting in their time but still tried to encourage them. They were nice kids but they did not want learn karate.

As a parent, I feel strongly about my daughter finishing what she started. Three weeks into a five week play rehearsal schedule she wanted to quit. I told her “Absolutely…NO”. I explained that it was her decision to audition for the play. I reminded her that people were counting on her and it would be difficult for the entire cast if she quit. I told her that she did not have to audition for the next play.

Should it be the same for karate? I am not sure. I think back to the two sisters and I know they were miserable. They hated everything about karate. The class instructors spent extra time working with the girls hoping to generate a spark of enthusiasm.

And…nothing.

The sisters continued to grumble and roll their eyes through class. They quit as soon as they were able.

What do you think…as a parent, as a karate instructor or as a fellow classmate? How do you feel about the sisters being forced to attend class? Do you think they should have been allowed to quit?